So....who all has bipolar?! *yells from back of room* OOOOO PICK ME PICK ME! yep you all know this if you have read any of my other blog posts....if not *evil glare* GO READ!
Fast forward me and Mr. C are not in a great spot in our relationship things are very tense but were working through them. Or at least trying which has put me into an EXCELLENT mood because well, were talking. So I was just sitting here playing on facebook with their catchy little addicting games *cough* chefsville *cough* and I thought. Maybe if I get into a good mood I can keep myself in a good mood.
So Challenge Accepted.
*downs a shot*
Here is to hoping Mr. C doesn't fuck up again and put me into a horrible mood.
#FYI I do NOT condone using alcohol as a self medication!#
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Friday, March 15, 2013
Kamsnaps
<center><a href="http://www.kamsnaps.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.urbanfinds.com/kamsnaps/images/kamsnapsbutton.jpg"" /></a></center>
You all know I love to cloth diaper well this will help me out LOADS. Its a giveaway and well I would LOVE to win! eek!
You all know I love to cloth diaper well this will help me out LOADS. Its a giveaway and well I would LOVE to win! eek!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
The pain, hurt, memories, and time.
They say time heals all wounds.
They say time will help you not feel so bad.
They were wrong.
I dont know who even said these things and believed them. Someone who hasnt had someone in their life past away. I am watching the newest Army Wives episode. It brings up so many memories, so many terrifying things that went through my head. The pain of my mother funeral, the heartache of the many things she would never be present at. My wedding, the birth of my children, the sleepless nights of help that would never be there from her.
I would not have anyone but my grandparents and sister there for my wedding. No father who would be off on another crack binge none of that. So it hurt. To this day I do not remember anything after everyone left, or even the funeral. I remember a blessed women, my mothers best friend, helping me and trying to comfort me. I couldnt see past my own pain to even make memories. Memories.....thats all I have.
Sometimes I wonder if anyone ever talks about the pain that still lingers. I remember her funeral. The calling hours. I remember sitting there thinking "I dont know who you are, why are you even here?" So many people who I had no clue who they were. And people missing who should have been there. She has the most beautiful casket. The casket the rival all other in her book. She had so many people who loved her.
One minutes she is with me, the next she is just.....not there. She had always been there to help me in any way that was possible. Gave me the most precious gift. The gift of love. The gift of hope. She was my mother. I felt like she was the only person who would EVER understand me. She helped me so many times that was just impossible to keep track.
My mother pulled me through some very rough places. She helped me realize that I didnt need anyone to help me with most things in life, that I myself could find the solution to all my problems if I just looked hard enough and used my brain.
Sherron Marie up there in heaven. I miss you more today then I think I have since the day you said goodbye. If you have ever lost your mother, your child, your friend, your spouse or even just someone you loved so very much you understand. It never gets easier, and the pain never dulls.
They say time will help you not feel so bad.
They were wrong.
I dont know who even said these things and believed them. Someone who hasnt had someone in their life past away. I am watching the newest Army Wives episode. It brings up so many memories, so many terrifying things that went through my head. The pain of my mother funeral, the heartache of the many things she would never be present at. My wedding, the birth of my children, the sleepless nights of help that would never be there from her.
I would not have anyone but my grandparents and sister there for my wedding. No father who would be off on another crack binge none of that. So it hurt. To this day I do not remember anything after everyone left, or even the funeral. I remember a blessed women, my mothers best friend, helping me and trying to comfort me. I couldnt see past my own pain to even make memories. Memories.....thats all I have.
Sometimes I wonder if anyone ever talks about the pain that still lingers. I remember her funeral. The calling hours. I remember sitting there thinking "I dont know who you are, why are you even here?" So many people who I had no clue who they were. And people missing who should have been there. She has the most beautiful casket. The casket the rival all other in her book. She had so many people who loved her.
One minutes she is with me, the next she is just.....not there. She had always been there to help me in any way that was possible. Gave me the most precious gift. The gift of love. The gift of hope. She was my mother. I felt like she was the only person who would EVER understand me. She helped me so many times that was just impossible to keep track.
My mother pulled me through some very rough places. She helped me realize that I didnt need anyone to help me with most things in life, that I myself could find the solution to all my problems if I just looked hard enough and used my brain.
Sherron Marie up there in heaven. I miss you more today then I think I have since the day you said goodbye. If you have ever lost your mother, your child, your friend, your spouse or even just someone you loved so very much you understand. It never gets easier, and the pain never dulls.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Habemus Papum!
And today, in history we get something great! A NEW POPE! They have yet to announce who the cardinals have chosen. I am hoping for a more tech savvy pope. Someone who will bring the catholic church into more modern times and can relate more towards the younger generation (You know the generation they need to recruit to keep the church alive! lol).
I am not a baptist catholic. Just making this clear. Ive gone a handful of time to mass. BUT my grandparents are very VERY catholic. (In Mr.Cs word they are shyt catholic, you know extremest.) I know quite a bit about many religions and I have to say if catechism didnt take so damn long I would so become a official member and go to mass regularly. To me the possiblity of change in the right direction will be a great thing for the church. (if it follow into a good direction, cuz we all know catholics have sometimes made big UT OHs....you know the crusades, war against protestants) Heres to hoping!
Edited to tell you all the great information!
Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio from Argentina has taken the name Pope Francis the 1st!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jorge_Mario_Bergoglio
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
All together now!
So another mama made me realize its been like 4-5 months, nah more like 2 years since I posted. Hmm I should totally remedy that. Lets almost bullet point things.
-B, We have severe eczema still. Turned 4 in December which means kindergarden is soon upon us *cries silently*. I need to get on her about her letters and writing. *sigh* bad mom moments.
-K, Were 1.....ONE year old. Ugh that feels like a HORRIBLE number because she is my possibly last baby. We talk, we walk, we use silverware better now, we have friends. My baby is growing up. She might even be potty training soon. NOOO I love my cloth diapers way to much for that to happen. lol
- Mr. C, whats to say. He had a job working for a decent warehouse, got laid off didnt even attempt a job search. So I things got shady around here for awhile.
ME!! Because it is ALWAYS about me you know. Just joshing you! Anyways...Im doing decent right now. My moods are in a upswing thankfully, I am adjusting to Arizona at a slow pace. Miss Ohio rather a lot. Sometimes almost to much. I am in need of coffe. I woke up way to early today because I started babysitting for a fellow mommy.
Well until next time when I might have something more interesting to say. OH YEAH! Were moving again, but this time only a few minutes away!
Monday, October 1, 2012
Revenge of the cramps.
I hate life right now.
My cramps and finally getting a steady period has been horror. I mean I havnt really had a real period for almost 5 years or so. No steady period for that long. And now I am getting one. This is NOT fun.
If I could I would take this stuff away for forever. I can no longer have children. I should no longer have children is more like it. I was advised to not get pregnant any longer due to my kidney issues. So I got my tubes tied, cut, and burned. All in one. They normally only do one now but, with my issues I done them all.
Fast forward. Now I have horrible pains I wish I could have just got a hysterectomy but I need the hormones due to my issues. *sigh* So no more babies...blah. But I love squishy babies but I cant. Maybe one day adopt. Maybe. But for now I want to just get these damn pms bs out of the way. I need to.
Maybe my next blog will be about my two birth stories. No many people will wanna know about them but eh they are a strong emotion for me so why not!
My cramps and finally getting a steady period has been horror. I mean I havnt really had a real period for almost 5 years or so. No steady period for that long. And now I am getting one. This is NOT fun.
If I could I would take this stuff away for forever. I can no longer have children. I should no longer have children is more like it. I was advised to not get pregnant any longer due to my kidney issues. So I got my tubes tied, cut, and burned. All in one. They normally only do one now but, with my issues I done them all.
Fast forward. Now I have horrible pains I wish I could have just got a hysterectomy but I need the hormones due to my issues. *sigh* So no more babies...blah. But I love squishy babies but I cant. Maybe one day adopt. Maybe. But for now I want to just get these damn pms bs out of the way. I need to.
Maybe my next blog will be about my two birth stories. No many people will wanna know about them but eh they are a strong emotion for me so why not!
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Lost Password
Dont mind me, I dropped off the face of the earth. I kinda forgot my password for a little while....SHHH dont judge me!
Lol.
Okay so quick recap. I have the two little shits, I mean adorable girls. One is 3 almost 4 and the other will be 1 in November. She is trying to walk but hasnt happened yet. My husband Mr. C is still in motorcycle school and I am thinking of enrolling myself into the school. WHY NOT! lol Umm next is nothing. I have nothing planned for either birthday.
Also it is almost October, I have halloween planned just have to make the costumes. BUT it doesnt feel like it should to me since I am not in Ohio where its cold. Its still in the 100s most days here in Arizona. UGH!
Who wants to bring a cold front to Arizona for me?
Lol.
Okay so quick recap. I have the two little shits, I mean adorable girls. One is 3 almost 4 and the other will be 1 in November. She is trying to walk but hasnt happened yet. My husband Mr. C is still in motorcycle school and I am thinking of enrolling myself into the school. WHY NOT! lol Umm next is nothing. I have nothing planned for either birthday.
Also it is almost October, I have halloween planned just have to make the costumes. BUT it doesnt feel like it should to me since I am not in Ohio where its cold. Its still in the 100s most days here in Arizona. UGH!
Who wants to bring a cold front to Arizona for me?
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